Moving In
by extra type
Summary: Shikimaru is moving into his dad's old apartment, when his parents become nastolgic, Shikimaru gets scared for life. Add Temari in the mix and you have one messed up day.


"I can't believe my little Shikimaru is moving out," Yoshino sighed putting a box of kitchen supplies on a counter. She looked around the apartment, it was extremely nice apartment, big living room spacey kitchen a full bathroom and a bedroom. The house wife of 25 years had some very found memories of this place. This was Shikato old apartment, the things they did here. Shikimaru was conceived on that very couch.

Suddenly a grunt came from the door way. "God how much crap do we need to give him Yoshino. He's moving across town, not across the country."

"Just put it over there honey." The women told her husband. "This place brings back so many memories." Yoshino felt Shikato's breath on her in an instant. He pecked the nape of her neck slowly moving up wards.

"It does remind me of some very vivid memories." He whispered nuzzling her neck Yoshino pushed her husband away.

"God dear wait until we get home." She giggled.

A voice interrupted the older couple out of there flirting. "What are you two doing?" There son Shikimaru asked.

"Nothing you need to know about Son," His father assured him, they all went back to bringing in the boxes.

When all the boxes where in, Yoshino sat down her son for a very serious chat. "We know that you are getting older honey. And as you get older you feel urges to do something with the opposite gender."

Shikato cut in, "You do feel urges for women DON'T YOU?"

"And even if you do feel urges for guys, we still love you." Yoshino reassured her son putting a gentle hand on his shaking knee.

"MOM I'm not GAY!" There son stated in shock. His voice rising from nervousness.

"Well it doesn't matter, because your sexual orientation is not the topic on this discussion. We are talking about your sexual activity."

"MY WHAT?!?"

"We decided to give you these." She said handing her son a big box.

Shikimaru looked at the box; it said Trojans of every different flavor.

"WE got you condoms because we want you to be protected during your sexual activity." Yoshino told her son.

"That should last Nara's about two months," Shikato told him, Shikimaru's eyes widened, the genius couldn't take this. Two months? How was he supposed to get rid of over 100 condoms in 2 months?

"We got you different flavors because we want you to experiment wile you can, and every girl likes a different taste. You need to be open, but if you feel uncomfortable don't be afraid to say no. Sex should be pleasurable for both parties involved." Yoshino was trying to encourage her son.

"A Nara never leaves a woman unsatisfied." Shikato butted in again.

"And on the subject of forplay…" The mother was interrupted bay a tap on the door.

"YES!!" Shikimaru yelled happy to get out of this conversation "WHO IS IT!"

"Nara Shikimaru the Hokage needs to see you about something."

Shikimaru started to believe there was a merciful god out there. "YES I'LL BE RIGHT THERE!! Well I got to go, bye mom bye dad!" Shikimaru left the apartment in a hurry.

Yoshino Stared at her husband in disappointment. "I didn't even get to start about proper hygiene."

Shikato sneaked back behind his wife. "You know this place gets me sooo nostalgic" Kissing the nape of her neck and slowly moving upwards, "So many fun memories."

Yoshino tilted her head towards her loving husband, "Shikato, it's no longer your old bachelor pad…Its Shikimaru's home. WE can't just do what ever it is your testosterone wants." Her husband was not deterred by her words of warning though; he kept softly kissing her neck.

"But he won't be back for another hour at least, and we haven't in the longest time." He whispered seductively into her ear as he started grinding into her. He could see his wife suppress a moan.

"2 weeks Is not that long of time." Moaned Yoshino throwing her head back in pure ecstasy, after 25 years of marriage her husband knew the combination to her lock. She slid around to face him. "Ok, but at least lets go in the bedroom, this couch is too uncomfortable."

Shikato hoisted her up with the strength of a real shinobi and said, "That's my girl,"

It had been 3 hours, since Shikimaru was called for the mission, his parents would Shirley be gone by now. The mission only took 30 minuets but he took the guy who had interrupted them out and treated him for a few drinks. That was an incredibly uncomfortable situation he had gotten Shikimaru out of.

Shikimaru entered his new home. God he was so tired he should just go directly to bed. He had been wiped out today. His bed would be nice and soft, like clouds. Nice soft bed where he could, what the? His bed room door was ajar. Shikimaru didn't see any light from it, he took a peak in…

OH GOD! IS THAT DAD? WITH OH GOD, OH GOD, OH GOD! Shikimaru shut the door quickly as possible and ran out of the apartment.

Yoshino sat up "I think I heard something." She said. Her husband stopped to look around.

"Theirs nobody," He told his wife going back to his work massaging her body. Yoshino closed her eyes to enjoy the moment.

"But-what if Shikimaru came back and-and" Yoshino was trying to get her thoughts straight "and saw us."

"Then he would close the door and leave, us to our work. He's all grown up he knows about this stuff." Shikato assured.

"But still it could damage him for life." Yoshino worried, her inpatient husband rolled his eyes.

"Shikimaru is smart, he would have figured out what we were doing any way. The sheets are all dirty." Shikato said hugging his wife. Yoshino bit her lip.

"Well I was planning on washing them…their his favorite bat man sheets." Shikato gave his wife a raised eye brow. "Well, if he all ready saw us, there is no need to hide. He can wash his own dam sheets."

Shikato kissed his wife. "I love you,"

"I know"

"Woe Shikimaru what's the matter with you?" Kiba asked as Shikimaru had sat down at the bar. Eyes wide in horror.

"Its-its- oh god." Shikimaru stammered. All the boys looked at him, not only was Kiba there. But all his other palls he used to skip class with.

Naruto slapped him on the back, Nara cringed at the contact. "Oh come on Shikimaru what's the problem? We are your friends we can help!"

"I-I- don't want to talk about it!" Shikimaru stammered, a blush crept on his face.

"Did you see Temari with another guy? Because I heard that Genma was going to ask her out. You should have seen him checking her out. I told yah man! You should have asked when you had the chance, now she's gone and it's all because you weren't man enough to ask her out." Kiba scolded. He was talking really fast, like usual.

"No its-its not urgh can we get off the topic of woman?" Shikimaru said.

"Ohh, so you did see Temari with another person. Were they like making out?" Naruto asked,

"I told you *crunch crunch crunch* that you missed it." Chouji added stuffing his face with chips.

"He probably saw Genma squeeze her ass or something." Kiba chuckled.

"CAN WE STOP TALKING ABOUT PEOPLES ASSES?" Shikimaru nearly screamed.

…

"So it is Temari!" Shino started again.

"NO NO IT'S NOT TEMARI, OK!" Shikimaru leaned down not wanting other peoples to hear this part of the conversation. "I saw my parents having sex in my new apartment." He muttered.

"WHAT?" Naruto asked, having been stuffing his face he didn't hear Shikimaru.

"I saw my parents having sex in my bedroom." Shikimaru whispered.

"I'm sorry Shikimaru, you are going to have to speak louder I can't hear you?" Naruto said cupping his hand to his ear.

"I SAW my PARENTS having SEX in MY BEDROOM!" Shikimaru said emphasizing the important words, Naruto's spoon dropped out of his mouth.

"OOOOO" Was the collective comprehension through out the group. Silence fell in the group.

"I wish I was their." Kiba finally said looking up in a dream like state.

"Where?" Chouji asked.

"In Shikimaru's bed room watching his parents have sex. I mean come on his mom is hot!" Kiba said. Shikimaru was choking on his drink. "I mean if I had to watch anybodies parents having, sex it would be Shikimarus." Kiba defended. Shikimaru was speechless with indignation.

"You are a sick man Inuzaki," Shino told his team mate.

"He makes sense," Naruto thought, "I mean I have no parents, Kiba's Dad is dead, Shino's parents well they have all that bug stuff going on, and well I don't want to even think about how Chouji was conceived." A shudder fell on the crowd.

"Plus your mom is hot." Chouji had to say.

"She was the star of my first wet dream," Kiba said.

"OK I'M GOING OUT FOR A WALK!" Shikimaru stated standing up abruptly.

"Oh come on Shikimaru," Kiba berated, "We haven't even got to talking about your mothers best assets!" Kiba screamed down the bar, Shikimaru had to stop him self from running out of that place as fast as possible.

Shikimaru lay back on his favorite hill, trying to forget about everything. He would have to wash his sheets when he got home. No, no he would have to throw the sheets away. And they were his favorite batman sheets. His parents soiled batman! How could they? Couldn't they have waited until they got home to soil their own sheets? Why did they do that to his bat man! And you can't find those sheets any more!

Shikimaru was startled out of his train of thought by rustling. It was Temari coming out of the bushes. "Hey you," She said, her aquamarine eyes smiling. Shikimaru looked her up and down; she was wearing her black kimono. If Shikimaru was in his regular train of thought he would have started fantasizing about her perfect legs wrapped around his body, but now other things popped up into his mind when he thought about sex. AHHH NO GET IT OUT GET IT OUT!

"Are you ok Shikimaru?" Temari asked him, sitting down. "How did moving into your dads

A Lie to her would be pointless. She has Jedi mind senses and knows when he's lieing. "It was great until my parents sat me down to give me their house warming gift."

"And that was?" Temari asked she bumped into him playfully to cheer him up. Shikimaru cringed at the contact.

"A box of different flavor condoms." Temari started laughing, He loved her laugh. It was full and she used all the force she had in it. She would never hide anything in that laugh.

"Is that it? I would expect you to be trying to get those puppies into use! Who's the lucky girl?" She asked bumping into him again. If this was any other day he would have laughed it off with her.

"The day got worse." Shikimaru added. Temari was just smiling at him how she could be so beautiful. "I had to go off for a short mission, when I got back; I saw them ugh, having sex on my bed." Shikimaru stammered. Temari just laughed harder. "Plus when I confided this to the guys, they started talking about how they used to jack off to my mom! I mean that would be uncomfortable enough on a regular day, but I just CAN'T deal with sexual situations right now!"

Temari leaned over his body, her chest brushing his "So you're uh uncomfortable in sexual situations now." She whispered. Any other day Shikimaru would have loved this. Heck he had masturbated to this situation more then once. But this was just too much; He scooted out of her range. She pouted; couldn't she have picked another day to tease him like this? "Well fine don't play with me." The word play made his mind wander to what his father was doing with his mother. OH GOD NO, DON'T THINK ABOUT IT. Temari then took her legs and straddled him on the ground. Her face was lit up with pure sadism. "So was your dad on top or your mom?" She asked. Shikimaru squirmed to get out of her grip, she gently pushed him down. Other parts of his body were in control now.

"I don't want to talk about it." He said looking away from her.

Temari started trailing the lines of his abs gently with her finger tips. Stopping just before the waist line of his pants, "I always wondered who was dominating in that bed. I mean your dad seems so ruff, but your mother is no pushover." She started swaying from left to right on top of him. "Maybe they switch off sometimes, that's why they are still such a hot item. Don't you think that's important?" Temari asked him, Shikimaru was barely paying attentions. His two minds were trying to convince his hands to either stay put of move, somewhere else.

"What?"

"Do you think that's good for a relationship, to change up the regular? I mean is that what keeps the sparks flying? To try something different, to go out of their way and even be uncomfortable and put themselves out there to show the other they care." It seemed to Shikimaru that Temari was talking more to the sky then to him. "Cause what if they don't get it? What if you put yourself out their by doing something potentially very embarrassing for you but they don't reciprocate. Some times you can throw yourself at him and he won't get it, he won't even say anything. Either two stupid to tell you off or doesn't want to spoil the relationship." She must be talking about Genma. Genma must be a real idiot to not see he has that effect on Temari. She seemed so reclusive now talking about that man. Shikimaru wanted to go and beat the crap out of him. Well if she liked him Shikimaru should be happy for her. Finally he knew what to do with his hands. Shikimaru picked up her hand and cupped both of her's in his. Temari looked surprised.

"I'm sorry Genma has put you threw all that trouble. I'm sure he will come around eventually." Shikimaru assured her, Temari slapped his hands away. She looked angry.

"YES, SHIKIMARU, I'm talking about MY feelings, on top of YOU, because I want Genma. Wow Shikimaru you sure are putting that 200 IQ of yours to work!" Temari told him, she got off him to his disappointment and went stomping through the bushes. Did he do something wrong? Great another thing to add to the list of why this is the worst day ever.

He sat there for 20 more minuets thinking of the talk he just had with Temari. OHHHHH he was an idiot!

Shikimaru entered the bar, there was Temari all alone looking depressed. "Hey" He said sitting down next to her.

"Hey," She replied.

"You still want to know the answer?" He asked her.

Temari looked at him and rolled her eyes. "Sure why not."

Shikimaru leaned over to her making sure his lips almost brushed her ear, she shuddered from the contact of his breath. Then he whispered, "It was my mother, she was on top."

He could feel the smile on her lips. "We should go back to my place, and see what my parents did to it." He offered.

"Why go to your place?" She shrugged, maybe that was a little quick Shikimaru scolded himself. "When my place's sheets are clean."


End file.
